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"I hope we're not late." Of course not, darling! Your timing is perfect as usual," respondedJoan.Then exchanging hugs I was introduced as Daphne's best friend Cindy."So this is her, you didn't tell me she's such a natural beauty."Blushing at the compliment I was tongue tied and scared to utter myfirst words in a female voice. I hoped I could maintain the higher pitchwithout dropping into my normal tone. Knowing that women always lookedto complement one another, I managed to stutter, "I've just been dyingto visit here ever since Daphne told me about you." Well, thank you," responded Joan with a big smile. Glancing down at herappointment book she said, "I have you down for a full makeover Cindy.It will take about five hours to complete but I think you'll be verypleased with the results. You should know we'll be doing our best to winyou over as a regular customer." Not if I could help it, I thought!Seeing that I was in good hands and had no chance to flee, Daphne, afteranother round of. She made a grab for the heavy stone based lamp on my desk. Oh shit, I thought, scrambling to get away. She’s really gonna put it to me this time. She managed to get hold of the lamp. I finally decided I wasn’t going to take this sitting down, as it were. ‘Gonna get you, you ushelesh whelp,’ she screeched at full drunken volume and raised the lamp over her head in a wide arc which, had I been there to receive it, might’ve caved in my skull. I, however, had ducked out and was across the room. The lamp smashed into the desk, leaving a deep gouge in the wood and causing considerable discomfort to my dear mother’s hand, I’m sure. She bellowed in muzzy outrage and spun clumsily around to try and find me, weaving on her feet and showing an indecent amount of track covered thigh in the process. I ran out the door and slammed it shut, and not a second too soon. The lamp thudded into the door with an accompanying splintering sound and another inebriated shriek from the mad woman who was.
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